Feeling Kneady
by Ncham9
Summary: Not the greatest example of my writing prowess. More or less and experiment that was wasn't really intended to see the light of day. I wasn't going to post it, but I wrote it so hear it is. This is completely a one-shot.
" **Feeling Kneady"**

 **A/N: This was my first lemon that was never intended to be any good. It isn't even edited because it wasn't allowed to be.**

Laugardagur was not Astrid's favorite day of the week. She didn't have a problem with the fact that the entire village decided to bathe and do laundry on the same day itself, just how populated every water source on within two miles of the village became. Every creek, river, and pond was full of Vikings.

It especially didn't help that Berk's weather decided to take a turn for the exceedingly hot the past few days of her eighteenth summer. It was _murder_ , no one escaping the own humid, sticky heat. No person or dragon (some of the riders of whom rivalled in smell equally) on the island would skip today's baths, not even a notoriously smelly smith she knew. So the waters would be even more inhabited than usual. She could imagine the chaos, shore to shore of her favorite stream full of dirty, sweaty, rancid -smelling Vikings. Not to mention the fact that they would all be _naked_. She didn't even want to think about it, how the Hooligans had earned their name 'Hairy' and… _no_ , just no.

Astrid set off to find someplace more secluded. Nothing had come up yet. The locations of good waterholes were kept like dirty secrets, sometimes staying within a family for years. All of the best ones had probably been found and claimed and subsequently _defiled_. She needed a new one, an undiscovered one.

Well, that was far easier said than done.

True, the heat was making her impatient. Thankfully she had Stormfly; otherwise it'd take her _all day_. She'd probably have passed out already. The rushing wind helped to stymie the temperature some, but she still wanted that cool bath.

After two hours, Astrid had enough searching. Her thighs had become sweaty around her leather saddle and she was getting exhausted. She was immensely uncomfortable and sure that the sun was trying to melt her from the inside out. The back of her neck would surely be burned. She was considering just asking her Nadder to just roast her alive. It'd probably cool her down some.

Frustrated, she directed Stormfly downward. If she couldn't find her own isolated little oasis, she would settle for someone else's. She said a quick prayer asking that she wouldn't stumble upon something she really didn't want to see.

A small cove came into view, one she knew had a sizeable enough pond for her uses and high enough walls to keep it private. Best of all, it was _far_ , a fairly long hike from the heart of the village. She only knew about it because it was close her usual training grounds, many of the trees nearby showing it with their long, deep gashes in the wood.

Just as Stormfly was coming down into the cove, the girl noticed a large black thing hanging from a tree. It looked like a bat, but was far too enormous to be one. She'd recognize that beast anywhere. _Toothless_. And where there was Toothless, there was almost certainly Hiccup.

"Dammit!" Astrid hissed as she pulled her dragon out of the dive. Stormfly cocked her head to look at her rider and looked as though she was about to squawk in concern, but she was quickly hushed and obeyed immediately.

They landed just around the rim of the encircling stone walls. Astrid dismounted quickly and went to the edge. She had to make sure Hiccup was actually there before she abandoned such a prime spot. As much as she liked him, he'd be catching Hel for this tomorrow. She quietly moved to the ledge to look for the boy. She peered over and scanned for any signs of movement beside the Night Fury that swayed ever so slightly from the branch he hung off of.

Ripples on the pond's surface caught her eyes, the sun's reflection bouncing around because of them. They caught her interest for a moment. Perhaps there were fish in it, which wouldn't be quite as pleasant as without, but the water was too dark to tell.

Suddenly, there was some splashing near the edge and a brown, shaggy mop emerged from the marine, dripping water onto the pale shoulders and slim torso that followed out and- _OH SWEET FREYA_!

Astrid dropped to the ground and into the long grass, squeezing her eyes shut. Hiccup had come running onto shore stark naked and shimmering from head to toe. She cursed herself for how stupid she had just been. Of course he was going to be naked. What did she think she would see if she was watching to see if he was bathing.

" _Come_ _on_ , Toothless..." he whined, echoing off the walls, and she immediately stopped muttering obscenities to herself. He continued, "You're blacker than the night. Do you even understand what _heat stroke_ is?". Apparently the Night Fury preferred the shade of the tree he was dangling from to getting clean. "Don't be such a baby" she heard, Hiccup using his ever present sarcasm to admonish his friend.

Astrid giggled a bit despite the tension. Those two idiots were such a match for each other. Hiccup started laughing at something.

Interested, she peeled her eyes open on at a time. The boy was sitting cross-legged on the soft-looking moss by the water, throwing pebbles at the sleeping Toothless. In usual Hiccup fashion, he missed with almost all of them. The only one that was on target was irritably batted out of the air by the dragon's wing, who gave an annoyed growl at the pestering human.

"Whatever" the boy said, doubtlessly rolling his eyes, though she couldn't see it from her hiding spot a good few yards away. Giving up on bothering his Night Fury, he simply lied down and sprawled out below the sun to dry, revealing…well… _everything_.

Her initial reaction was to look away, but something inside her resisted. It was spying, she knew. What she was doing invaded his privacy. Moreover, she didn't _need_ to be doing it. She was a Hofferson, not subject to the basic, whimsical desires of an animal. But she was curious. She well fancied Hiccup, something she couldn't hide from herself and probably not from him either, not that she would care to try.

She watched his slender form as he sat up to unbuckle his prosthetic, which she only then noticed he had been wearing, even in the water. _Stupid_ , she thought. He'd probably give some dumb excuse, like how he'd wipe it down and oil it as soon as he got back and give her a sheepish look while she returned an unconvinced one.

Well, he wouldn't be doing either of those things, because she could never bring this up to him.

She realized she had been lying on her arm, the prickling sensation telling her that it was falling asleep. As quietly as she could, she rolled off of it and onto her side, dragging the deadened limb out from under herself. As the mostly numb hand moved, though, it ghosted over her skin through the thin, summer tunic she wore. The light touch gave her goosebumps and a shiver despite the heat and she gasped inaudibly.

That sensation was strange and unexpected, but she couldn't deny the pleasantness of the chill it sent up her spine. It sparked a further desire in the girl. She was watching the young man she'd had her eye on for years and he was naked as the day he was born and it just made so much sense for her to-

Her hand had slipped beneath her leggings and into her linens before the thought could register in her head. She closed her eyes and raised her knee to her side to give room to 'maneuver'. She let out a lascivious hum, utterly pleased with herself. She'd just gotten into a fluid rhythm of kneading circles into herself, winding up her own demise, when something hard and cold nudged into her back.

"Ah!" she yelped, trying to keep her volume as low as possible. She rolled onto her back to see what had intruded on her little reverie, taking her slippery hand out of her pants and clutching it to herself defensively to hide it. She was met with the sight of Stormfly towering over her, who again nudged her with a beak. She had forgotten about her dragon. It seemed a little stupid, but she couldn't help but feel both guilty and embarrassed that she had been caught. But Stormfly was a dragon and thought nothing of her rider's discomfort as she gave the air a curious sniff and looked at the girl inquisitively.

"Stormfly, could you…umm…give me a minute?" she asked timidly, still being quiet so as to not be further discovered. The dragon cocked its head as an answer. Astrid was practically begging, "I…just…please?". Eventually, the Nadder grasped the sense of urgency and obliged, taking off _away_ from the ledge, which her rider was very much grateful for.

Astrid returned to her devices readily, hungry for the rest of the satisfaction she had only teased herself with. She was uncomfortably wet and hot, blood rushing to the well stimulated area. She was still on her back as she looked at an upside down view of the world, which centered around Hiccup at the moment.

"Mmmph…" she moaned obscenely, trying to stifle the sounds with tightly pursed lips and only succeeding halfway. She began to sweat as she worked away at caressing the gods-given node of sensitivity at the apex of her lips. As her linens grew more and more saturated, she took her free hand and pushed them down, taking her leggings with them down to her ankles. The grass itched slightly against her now bare ass, but she couldn't care less after having exposed herself to the relatively cool breeze.

"Hiccup…" she cooed quietly as she closed her eyes again to imagine vague scenes with him, shadowy hands coming around her and touching her all over, spotting kisses on her skin here and there, particularly on her neck. She pictured him, (frustratingly blurrily) kneeling over her, his hands taking the place of hers, doing a far better job than she ever could. She was dripping with want now, her other arm coming under her tunic to give her breast a gentle squeeze. She whimpered at the combination of contacts, even though they were torturously still _her own_.

"Mmm…Hiccup…" she called out again as she willed herself to imagine more vehemently. His hips were poised over hers now in her mind. His sex grazed hers and she felt it throb in time with her. She begged explicit things of him and he complied, pushing himself into her slowly. She let a finger enter herself to keep up with the running fantasy, equally as slowly for her own comfort. Were it really him at her entrance, he could have had her as roughly as he wanted, she was so desperate for anything given by him.

The slick, silken flesh inside her tightened around her digit, while she longingly envisioned him thrusting into her. Another finger joined it soon after, with her always gasping for more. She debated adding a third for a short second before she decided she already had more than enough, as she was already hurtling towards a much needed end.

Astrid looked toward the real Hiccup with half lidded eyes and bit her lip. He was still lying down under the sun, innocently unaware of her and the heated, sexy world she had placed him into in her mind.

Moments later, she was muffling cries with her arm as her chest heaved heavily, back arched acutely and every muscle went taught. It was suddenly too much when she withdrew her fingers and went back to the annular ministrations on the outside, though at a much calmer, sedate pace.

"I think I love you…" She panted tiredly and without thinking as her heart rate gradually slowed and her chest rose and fell less rapidly; a dumb, contented grin teasing at her lips. Not long after, she realized what she said and sat up quickly, asking herself where on Midgard that had come from, while not quite disputing it to herself or the Hiccup inside her mind.

She shook her head a moment later, trying to free herself from the lethargy and slow thoughts that usually followed these releases. Her day was not over yet. She still had things to do and a bath she needed to take, now more than ever.

 **A/N: This doesn't deserve to be reviewed.**


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